Clarity is what I need.

There is just something about the stretch of road between Gastonia and Atlanta. The drive there brought on so many memories..as I left North Carolina and entered South..I just got so reminiscent about the good old days of college. One of my best friends is from right outside of Atlanta and I would often make this trek with her down to her parents home. We had certain customs that we always had to fulfill on our trips down. It was like an itch that had to be scratched..the first one came as I drove through Gaffney, SC. As I drove past the Watertower that was painted and fashioned like a peach..I saluted it! Every time we drove past the peach it had to be saluted. It was unheard of to not salute the peach. It was a custom that we started freshman year and continued to this day.

As we traveled we always listened to our favorite tunes..in college is was NSYNC, Third Day, Rascal Flats, Kelly Clarkson, etc...this time around I listened to my Glee playlist and various Christmas songs..it was pure bliss. It made the trip bearable. As the I counted down the exits and got closer to the stateline between Georgia and South Carolina..I had to turn on Georgia on my Mind by John Mayer..that was always a custom to play as we crossed over the border..which is always perfect for the situation. I wanted to make it as far as I could so I didn't stop at my usual exit 149 the Commerce exit..but, instead I stopped at 129 when my gas tank glared at me when a red light to state that it was in need of substance..I really regretted not going to Commerce perhaps I wouldn't have had to worry so much had i stopped for gas there.

My Thanksgiving weekend was almost completely perfect. I stayed with my friend at her parent's house just like old times. I got there just before the appetizers on Thursday..I'm on a bit of a limited diet but, I ate what I could because for heaven's sake, ITS THANKSGIVING! We ate way too much, but it was just perfect. The weekend was filled with eating, shopping at 3 am, sleeping in the middle of the day, HARRY POTTER, texting, watching flash mob videos, discussing the awesomeness of Sarah Addison Allen, listening to her father talk which makes me laugh every single time, forced football viewings, (500) days of Summer, walking around a monastery that has an AWESOME bonsai garden (I need to take pictures next time), making cookies, driving around the town blaring various songs including Marry you, Grenade, Just the Way You Are by Bruno Mars, the entire Glee Soundtrack, and then old favorites sprinkled through out the the weekend..ie, we pulled out an old mix cd that I made for her in college named "Mellow Yellow" which was RANDOM. It had everything from Incubus to Kelly Clarkson, to the Beatles, to Knock Three TImes. I don't know what I was thinking when I made that cd..I must have been writing my thesis. The only downfall of the whole weekend is I lost my cell phone. I was completely desperate for it..but, as it turned out I ended up leaving at the CVS around the corner from her house. I didn't find this out until I was almost home...but its okay that I left my phone..It gave me the opportunity to really think about my life, what I want, and what I need to do to get what I want.

As I drove North on 85, and got caught in the aftermath of "rubberneckers" of three different accidents..which actually caused my trip to go from a 3.5 hour trip to over 6 hour ride. I'm exhausted now..but, the ability to travel all those miles without anyone to talk to, it gave me the time to think about what is lacking. This is what I've decided. I need to be surrounded by people who wholeheartedly support me. I don't have that in my life right now. I feel like I need to move to get that support. I do have excellent friends where I live, but they are not selfless. I just think that friendship means to put your friends before yourself when they are in need. I strive to be that way..it hurts to know that I don't have many people surrounding me that have same philosophy. I had a really rough day today, but it could have been so much easier if I had their support. But, I made it through because I did what I had to do..so not going to complain..just going to mentally make a note and start looking for new opportunities. I also thought about how I need to finish my teaching degree..I have to do it for myself. I am never going to be happy or content with myself if I allow myself to just let this opportunity to go away without even trying. So I am going to look into MAT programs, and at least apply..if I can't do it..then at least I can say that I tried. I'm thinking schools in Durham, Georgia, and Maryland. I am so ready for change. With that thought, I need to crash. G'Night.

Chocolate Soy Milk

sounds so good right now. Ever since I found out that I was going to have my gall bladder out, all I can think about is food. Its not like its going to be the end of the world when it is gone, but I know that for a short period I don't think I am going to want to eat anything. I have always been a food lover. I think its my Chicagoland roots. Food is apart of the culture there. We are the birthplace of McDonald's (well, as we know it..not the original food stand, but the chain was started in IL.) Chicago hot dogs, pizza, not to mention just great restaurants everywhere that you go. So how could you not be obsessed with food when you have GOOD food at every corner. I've heard that after you have your gall bladder out, your taste buds change..which could totally be a farce...but still I can't imagine life without my favorite foods. Indian food, popcorn, sushi, spaghetti...taste buds do not change your opinion of these foods! French fries you can go along with pizza..I need to kick both of those habits.

Ultimately, its my poor eating habits that have created the problem with my gall bladder. I hope this surgery can help kick start a healthy relationship with food. Time will only tell..another thing that I love and better not disappear after the surgery..SODA!! Especially...Pepsi Max and Diet 7up. There is just something about the bubbly carbonated sweetness. So, this upcoming week I'm going to go out for indian, eat popcorn when I'm watching some telly, and who knows what else. Who knows how long its going to take me to eat normally without getting sick. Man, I hope this doesn't ruin Thanksgiving (clearly my favorite holiday). I think I'm going to just push through the pain and enjoy the holiday anyways. :D

lazy days with kitty

Prompted.

Assignment: Look up your horoscope and write how true it is.


My horoscope via iGoogle:

The Moon links up to sensuous Venus in your personal chart, bringing out your most seductive, pleasure-loving side today. So plan to spend some time with someone close - or to entertain at home, as someone you meet now could play a major role in your existence. Because you are so open, others are drawn to you by your ease and charm and life should go your way.

I was given this prompt by a fellow blogger friend of mine, who was listening to me rant and whine about the fact that no one is following me or reading my posts. She said, "but you don't post often." I told her that I need a purpose to write and I just don't have one right now so she said "look up your horoscope and write how true it is."

I've always loved looking at horoscopes..I remember when I was in middle school, I loved to get Seventeen or YM and read my love horoscope. I would dream and hope that it would come true. It never did, which made me cynical about love and horoscopes in general. So, I was not surprised when I just looked at the horoscope from iGoogle and it basically talked about how I'm going to get lucky tonight. I am all by my lonesome tonight. BUT..perhaps the writer of my horoscope got it wrong by a day. I am going on a blind double date tomorrow..one can hope that this is what the horoscope was referring to as "as someone you meet now could play a major role in your existence." Right? I've only ever been on one other blind date and that was a bit of a disaster. The guy was drunk and smelled like a carton of cigarettes and I swear he was trying to scrape the back of my throat with his tongue..oh why did I let him get that far..so, tomorrow's date should be much more civil. We are going to the Renaissance Festival in CLT which if it doesn't work out, then at least I get to say I finally made it to the Renaissance Festival for the first time in 10 years. So, ask me tomorrow if the horoscope is relevant to my life. Til' then..

Revelations & Chai Tea

I've realized:

- my life has revolved around being a people pleaser. I have true anxiety at the idea that someone is made at me or that I have done something wrong. But, I've realized that sometimes even my best is not good enough. I need to stop trying and focus on bettering myself away from the situation.

-I need to move.

-I had a 3rd thing that I realized over the weekend, but now I can't remember because this is my 3rd attempt at writing this blog entry, due to the fact that I accidentally deleted one entry and then was so frustrated with the 2nd that I had to walk away.

-Ahh, yes..I want to start running/walking again. I miss being active and going places. I'm kick starting C25k tonight after work. I'm very excited about it.

so its 6:20 on a very Monday morning. I want to start a new tradition. Getting up early and drinking some tea. I figure it would be good to drink some chai since it is so yummy delicious. I wish I had some scones. I forgot how much I loved Good Earth Chai. I love the flavor, the quote that is at the end of the tea bag that is really inspirational.

"Tis better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt." Abe Lincoln

I have pretty low expectations that I'm going to be able to continue this trend after this morning, but you never know. This weekend was interesting and really made me thing about a few things. First of all, had a disheartening revelation on the friendship front. I got to the breaking point with someone that has made me decide to just stop trying because whatever I do is not good enough. If said person has problems with things that I have done he/she needs to talk to me about instead of giving me the cold shoulder every time I attempted to talk with him/her. I'm tired of trying..I am a people pleaser, but damn...I know I'm not a bad person, I definitely screw up on a regular basis but I'm trying..why isn't that good enough. So, I'm done. I am disentangling myself from said person.

2nd realization. I want to move. I'm feeling restless and I'm pretty much tired of living in the heart of the bible belt. I want to live somewhere that has a little bit more of a diverse opinion on life matters. Religion, politics, etc, etc.. I am tired of being a minority in my opinions...I'm non confrontational...I don't want to have to a discussion about the separation of church and state with my coworkers. I really don't..but, sometimes I just want to scream here. The only problem with this is the fact that I love my job and I love the people that I directly work with. I'll miss both and its kind of scary to think about moving in this day in age since everyone is so, "be thankful that you have a job". I'd like to somewhere new by next summer. The hard part is figuring out where.

Options:
-Maryland (there are expectations there since, my mom is up there)
-Triad (heard its a happening place)
- ATL (I like it down there, but I know, I know..its deeper into the bible belt..but I figure its so big, perhaps I can find my nitch there)
-Chicago...(home, need I say more)
-Washington State (I could be closer to my BFF Amy)
-some place new and random that I have never been, but have always wanted to go
-England (what I would give to live closer to my sis and my nieces)

Lastly, I need to exercise like a freakin I don't know what. a friend from out of town was here..she just looked awesome and her secret was that she runs all the time. It made me miss the times when I was walking all the time this summer. So, I'm going to start training with the Couch to 5k program again. I'm going to start after work tonight. I've looked up different 5k races to do and there is a really cute one in ATL called the jingle jog on Dec. 11. Its a x-masy race where you get to wear jingle bells on your shoes, and santa will be there to cheer everyone on! I need something to motivate me and give me something to focus on.

just because I felt like watching one of my fav videos.

total slacker week..

This week, the only form of exercise that I got was when i got to visit my buddy Heishman in Durham...We walked on the East Campus of Duke and walked an easy 3.5 mi...had a hard time walking any other time this week because it was so fricken hot and I was at the mercy of my mom's senior apt complex in maryland. The gym closing at 8 pm each night did not work well with my schedule. I have to admit it was nice being a slacker this week. I am about to fall back into the groove tomorrow though, and walk 14 mi and then 7 on Sun. I'm excited. Other than hanging out with Heishman in Durham..nothing really exciting happened in my world.

Visting my mom is always fun and interesting. Its stressful, because she has dementia and sometimes has meltdowns about stuff that anyone else would be able to handle. Kind of got into it a bit after she asked me 30 times, what the red sauce that came with the breadsticks was...but, I love her all the same and she has to love me when my short fuse goes off. Thats what her dementia is like..its not forgetting people, because for the most part she remembers everyone..she has problems with remembering what's she doing, where she's going, and what things are.

We made plans to go to the National Gallery of Art on Wed, didn't go because we struggled getting ready to go..its alright...I can go again..perhaps I can get a friend to come with me for a visit and we can go off..Side note, I don't know why I haven't visited the National Gallery yet...its free and filled with some of my fav artists...Vermeer, Cassat, Picasso, etc...why haven't I gone? And HELLO, its free!?!?!? So, yeah, can someone please come with me? I'll even throw in another free museum that they seem to have a plenty of in DC..I'm partial to Art and Natural History Museums..but, willing to go to others.

Other than get my hopes up about seeing art, the only other thing that I accomplished was Reading. My aunt gave me a stack of her books to read...which I loved! I read the book that I have been trying to get my hands on for at least a month in less than a day. I read The Girl who Chased the Moon by Sarah Addison Allen..fantastic NC author. love her. In fact going to include link to her website..



Upcoming events to look foward/ dread...
-Fundraiser for the Avon Walk @ Simonetti's Pizza
-Return to Work on the 19th..lots of trainings, mtgs, conferences...FUN Stuff...actually looking foward to it..ready to be back in a routine.
-turning 29 on the 30th of this month...not really looking foward to that, but oh well..
-attempting to find time to make a trip to the beach...looking foward, hoping, praying that it will happen.
-Avon Walk for Breast Cancer..Oct 23-24....still so much fundraising to do!

Its been a crazy week or so...

So, its been a crazy two weeks..I adopted a kitten that I have named so far PITA, toying with other names (Pain in the A$$)..but, only say in the most lovingly way. Its been interesting to say the least, seeing as this is my first cat. I don't really like the 20+ attempt sneak attacks of my feet a day. Its like either she's sleeping or in attack mode. I completely slacked off on my workouts last week. I missed some of my walking days..but, I did keep up with the most important day of the week..my 8 mi walk over the weekend. It was weird because I did it at the gym. The most entertaining part was, I was able to read a book while I was walking. It was an endurance walk so I set my speed to 3.5 and went..thats a nice speed where you feel like you are going somewhere but still able to stare at a book with out falling on your face. (The book I was reading was Garden Spells by Sarah Addison Allen...which I loved..I love her writing..such a fan. Can't wait to read her new one.) It was nice to be inside in the A/C..but, I missed being able to be outside in the sunshine, seeing trees galore and actually feeling like I'm accomplishing something by knowing that I am going some place rather than on a stationary machine...

This week I've done much better with my training..I worked hard on my 3 mi days. My times have gotten much better ..Minutes have been melting off. This weekend, we are moving up to 10 mi on Sat..looking foward to it..Its prob going to take 3 hrs, but when I finish..I feel great...and am usually hungry as hell. Did make a mistake of going to Cici's last week..but, its alright..my diet has been going rather well this week as well..like tonight I made Jerk Chicken, with Couscous and peas...it was yummy..Pita attempted to get into my plate, so I would like to think that she agrees. I hope all of my hard work this week shows on the scale. I'd like to drop some more weight before I go back to work in a few weeks..I can't believe the summer has gone by so quickly! Alright just realized Glee was on...so I'm going to go watch Wheels for probably the 20th time.

Thanks Heishman!

Thank you Amy Heishman for reintroducing me and giving me a reason to be back on Blogger! ..though, I have to change it around a bit..not doing the Couch to 5k anymore. Instead I'm training to do the Avon 2Day Walk for Breast Cancer..which is a feat in itself...39.3 miles in two days...26.2-Day 1. Right now we are up to walking 6 miles for our endurance walks, which I love the long walk days..but, my walking and training buddy Kristy does not like..:D Next Saturday we are moving up to 8 miles! I have to find a new place to walk..we currently train mostly at the Greenway in Gastonia, but its going to start getting old to be walking back forth..esp on the end that seems to go nowhere and ends on Hudson. >.<>

Speaking of Avon Walk..we have scored our first real fundraising event..Pizza Night at Simonetti's in Belmont..so, local peeps be prepared..Event coming soon! August 15th, we are going to be at Simonetti's..He is going to be giving 10% of proceeds for the day to us! We have to bring the customers in..so, I'm in the process of creating a poster and hitting up my friends! :D

Just completed Week 2!!

I almost didn't go though. I've been sick all weekend and I should have completed the week on either Fri or yesterday which discouraged me, but the weather was nice so I decided to just go. I was the usual nervousness for training in my neighborhood, but I was like what the hell..just go. I wasn't as fast I was on the treadmill..but, I still made good time. My mile was 14:33 (according to my ipod) which it had been 14:04 on the treadmill..but, I figure there is nothing forcing me to go a certain speed out on the road so my time outside is more realistic. My legs were tired and I felt like walking a few times, but I pushed through anyway...The best part was two of my neighbors that I usually talk when I'm out walking Maddie stopped me to tell me that they were so proud that I was out there running! It felt nice to hear that others were noticing my efforts in a good light. My neighbor from across the way even said that inspired her to go back to Nutrisystem :)

So, now I am on to Week 3..I'm nervous, I think this is the point where you actually have to really start going distances..if anything I'm going to go really slow and go from there...I understand the whole science of endorphins (sp??) now..well, not completely...I feel so good when I'm finished with my workout. Its like I totally could just smile and laugh. GREAT feeling. I hope the weather stays nice..I'd like to continue to keep running outside..Well, time to get ready for another week with my kiddos! Usual Sunday Night ritual...laundry, dishwasher, dinner..I hope everyone has had a wonderful Sunday! :D

Hump Day is almost over..

So...W2D2 completed! Is it weird that my legs hurt when I'm walking, but feel better when I am in the running portions??? I hope this pain in my shins eventually go away, because its getting annoying..I don't want to slow down but its painful!! It feels good to be one of the elite's at the YMCA who is running..though everyone is probably thinking that I am weird because I go through intervals of running, walking, running, walking, etc....I'm getting to the point where I DON'T CARE what people thing of me...which is a struggle for me. I think I'm going to have to buy new gym shoes soon..my shoes are starting to feel worn. Would it be bad to run in X-trainers? (Until I can afford to go out and buy some new nike's) I really don't like those shoes so its probably not going to happen.

In other news..I'm officially signed up for the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer, which I am totally pumped for! My team, the Streetwalkers (funny, huh? Kristy came up with the name..:D) and I are getting together to brainstorm what we need and want to do for fundraising this weekend. Each of us has to come up with $1800 each. Total of $7200!! I think we can do it though! I'm thinking raffles, bbq sales, email campaigns, etc. I'm working on writing my testimonial for my walk page but, here is a link to my Avon Walk page. Alrighty...I'm going to find some trouble to get into. Good Night!

Happy March!!

I think this has been the fastest February I've had in a long time. It just flew by! So...W2D1 DONE! It was tough though...I need to make sure that I stretch before I run...my legs started to hurt almost immediately, it weird I didn't feel winded at all but, my legs were hurting. I hope this is just growing pains and goes away before the end of the week. I'm proud of myself..I kept going even though my legs hurt and the temptation to stop was "running" wild. So, here's my question..who should I trust...the treadmill said I ran a mile in 16:33, but, my ipod said I ran a mile in 14:32..which I totally want to believe my ipod because that was fantastic!! But, I don't know who to trust..both of them could be inaccurate. I hope my time just keeps going down..I'd like to ultimately run the mile around 10 minutes..but, we'll see..I don't know if that is going to happen.

My day was a pretty good one. Work was relatively drama free..the kids were happy..I somewhat followed a healthy diet with one exception. I did pretty well portions. My exception is that one of my coworkers gave me a pack of peeps. I so could not resist them! They were delicious! I didn't eat them in one sitting but the whole pack was gone before I left work. I really don't feel too bad about it. I usually only get peeps once a year and this could be my feast for 2010. I do have to say, I miss Target's red peeps...they were the best. Now, onto dinner...what should I make that is going to hold me for the rest of the night...Yesterday was a disaster...I didn't eat a complete meal so I snacked and binged periodically through the day. If I don't have enough food in the house that is when my healthy eating goes out the window. Oh to be rich and not worry about how much it is going to cost to go to the grocery store. Well, I think thats that for now. Its high in sodium but, I'm thinking red beans and rice for dinner. Yummy!

Maddie, enjoying the sunshine!

Busy, Busy Day...

So, it was a gorgeous day here in the neighborhood (Cramerton). I feel like I had a really productive day. I took my dog Maddie for a 1.25 mile walk and then took her home and then I did my C25k training. It was a little bit more difficult this time around, I did it outside instead of on the treadmill..but, I felt really good afterwards! I'm pumped to start Week 2! I need to get my diet in track so I can start losing weight! I'm feeling better from the exercise, so now I need to get my eating habits in check!

Once I was finished with my training..I ran inside and got ready to go. Kristy, Lisa, and I all went to Charlotte and registered to the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer. I'm super excited! Somehow, we decided to make me the Team Captain for our team the Streetwalkers (Kristy's idea!)..so i'm pumped..we need to finish the online registration process and then we can start hitting people up for money, and training..though I am already feeling good since I'm working on my 5k's!

So, now I'm trying to think of ideas for fundraising..so far we've thought of a raffle, using Cici's Pizza and possibly some other things. I'm actually going to post my blog for once onto my facebook account..so, any ideas?

It was a Lovely Saturday!

Stretching is IMPORTANT!

So..struggled to remember to stretch before I ran the gym this afternoon. My legs were definitely burning this time around. I need to remember to stretch. I do not want to burn out early on and give up. I am proud to say that I didn't give up on the program while I was running...I pushed through the pain. I do need to look into new shoes soon...I think these are coming to the end of their run..hehe...no pun intended. I love them though, I totally recommend working out with nike+ shoes with an ipod. I like being able to listen to the music and knowing exactly how far I have gone and how many calories I have burned. I also like the "power song" option. My power song is "That's Not My Name" by the Ting Tings. Good motivation song.

Just thinking about being able to run is getting me so excited! I want this so bad! Can't wait to be considered a runner! This year I'm training for a 5k..next year maybe a 1/2 marathon!

Time for a shower and watching a movie in bed! Night!

Day 1: The Beginning

Day 1! I know its a crappy picture, but I just came back from working out and walking Maddie! :D

W1D1

So..I'm feeling inspired to write this blog because I have started a new program to get myself motivated to get in shape. I'm doing the Couch to 5K training program. I've always wanted to run, and I finally want to work towards doing it. I'm excited. I did my first day and I think it went pretty well. I walked for 5 minutes to warm up and then I alternated 60 seconds of running and 90 seconds of walking (at a brisk rate). It wasn't too bad...I'm sure its going to get harder, but it makes me feel inspired to continue on the program. I need to take the day off tomorrow and find something different to do for a workout. Maybe I'll do some stretching and use weights.

Also, my first form of motivation is signing up for the Run for the Money in Gastonia. That way I have a sense of obligation to be training for something. So once I get paid this weekend, I'm going to sign up! :D

-Christine